CPSIA – Essay Contest or . . . Detention Punishment?

Rick Woldenberg, Chairman, Learning Resources, Inc. — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 05:36:00 +0000

I know what you are thinking: how can I channel all this excess energy I have? What could really soak up a lot of time, and provide intellectual stimulation at the very same time? It can be so frustrating to have oodles of time and nothing to do . . . .

Luckily for you, the Society for Standards Professionals (SES) have a contest for you to enter. It’s their 2011 World Standards Day Paper Competition. The topic for your award-winning essay must meet this description: “‘Advancing Safety and Sustainability Standards Worldwide,’ recognizes that issues of safety and sustainability are important causes for stakeholders around the world, from alternative energies and environmental protection to the safety of products, services, homes, and workplaces. As governments, organizations, and individuals alike strive to address these transnational challenges, globally relevant standards provide the technological and scientific foundations that drive health, safety, and environmental innovation.”

Okay, I know that’s not English, but heck, they are Standards engineers. What did you expect?

The project might have died there . . . but fortunately, my trade association, the Toy Industry Association, provided outstanding translation services so we could all get in on the fun:

“As recently reported to TIA members, the U.S. Celebration of World Standards Day 2011 taking place on October 13, 2011 in Washington, D.C. includes a unique opportunity for toy industry stakeholders to describe (in writing) the crucial role that global toy safety standards serve in protecting children today and for future generations … and take home some fantastic cash prizes!” [Emphasis added[

Now, that’s a Rockin’ n Rollin’ idea for you. The crucial role of Global Toy Safety Standards – I love it! Of course, the contest also sounds like some sort of detention punishment. “Now write ‘Safety is nice’ on the chalkboard 100 times in neat handwriting!” Well, Mr. Grumbler, life is how you choose to look at it, so stop moaning and get to work. You’ll never win the big prize by feeling sorry for yourself.

Here are a few suggested winning essay titles. I would welcome any other ideas you have because I want one of my readers to WIN that cash prize!

a. “Cadmium-for-Lead: How Global Standards Set Me Straight!”

b. “What?! No One Told Me Small Parts Were Bad! ANSI to the Rescue.”

c. “If It’s Illegal Here, It Must Be Illegal Everywhere. Waste Haulers Laud New Global Toy Safety Standards.”

d. “Let Me Chew on That. . . . Global Toy Standards Finally Regulate Common Sense!”

e. “Never Heard of Selenium? ANSI Has . . . Thank G-d.”

f. “Shards of Glass No More. Global Toy Standards Stand Tall!”

g. “There Are New Global Toy Standards? Somebody Should Tell Our Firewalled Test Lab.”

CPSIA – Ashton Kutcher to the Rescue!

Rick Woldenberg, Chairman, Learning Resources, Inc. — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:33:00 +0000

The CPSC rolled out its latest weapon in the war on safety two days ago – CELEBRITIES! Yes, rather than focus its energies on consideration of the issues present by its regulated community or devote its limited resources and energy to identifying real threats to safety, the CPSC is instead reaching out to Ashton Kutcher to lend a hand with its Internet strategy. After all, who would know better than Ashton, he of the Blah Girls fame ( http://www.blahgirls.com/ ). Ashton, known as ” aplusk ” on Twitter (3.7 million followers – you, too?), is a renowned expert on safety and the perfect ally for the CPSC. Anything to avoid dealing with its role in driving small businesses serving the children’s market into the tank. . . . Apparently, Scott Wolfson has been given the chore of mining the Hollywood connection. In a tweet two days ago , Scott rang up his bud’ Ashton perhaps in the hope that Ash’ would retweet his words of wisdom: Scott_wolfson: @aplusk ashton – federal gov. just launched @OnSafetyto help keep children and families safe in their home. Thx. Ashton is certainly the right place to turn for an ally in safety. Check out the description of his new characters/series Blah Girls: “Meet…”The Blah Girls!” BlahBlahBlah is an interactive, animated Web series that focuses on popular culture, told through the perspective of the Blah Girls – Tiffany, Krystle and Britney. They will keep you up to date on the latest in celebrity gossip, fashion, relationships and life as it happens. http://www.blahgirls.com/ ” Just oozes safety and concern for the health of children, doesn’t it? Ashton, SAVE ME! Maybe Ashton asked Scott to keep him posted. I don’t know. From my perspective, the outreach to the Hollywood types is yet another sign of confused, conflicted priorities in today’s CPSC. It seems to me that the agency is being tooled to please the power elite of the moment while placing the mission of safety in a back seat (except when the power elite wants some heads on a stick to impress the populace). They talk about “transparency” and “openness” but don’t answer questions or respond to clear and documented criticisms. They reach out to celebrities and publicize the garage sale police (with a little too much enthusiasm) but are unwilling to resist the decimation of critical regulated markets with sterling safety records like educational products, apparel (putting aside drawstrings, a different issue altogether), bikes and ATVs, non-lead jewelry and jewels. The emerging picture is certainly not inspiring to someone (like me) who has known this agency for almost two decades and knows the good work it is capable of. It makes so much sense. . . . Thanks Scott for turning Ashton on to your new website! I am sure that will make everyone so safe – and so hip!

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CPSIA – Ashton Kutcher to the Rescue!

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CPSIA – Essay Contest or . . . Detention Punishment?

CPSIA – Ashton Kutcher to the Rescue!